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A wedding without cake is just a party

and 3 more reasons you should have cake at your wedding.

Okay, so I didn't invent that one. I took it from one of those "Live, Laugh, Love" homeware signs, and it was originally "a party without cake is just a meeting". Then my friend from To Have and To Hire said that it was very on-brand for me, so here I am, talking about wedding cake... again.

It's very rare that I'm not talking about wedding cake.

It's no secret that I love weddings. You'd think I would be immune to it all by now, but I am a hopeless romantic and there's something about couples in love saying their vows in the company of their dearest friends that never gets old.

If you've seen me at a wedding fayre, you'll also know that I don't preach about cake being essential. Like everything, you should only have cake, if you really want cake. You shouldn't resent the obligation of having cake at your wedding, and I believe that applies to everything. It's your day. Your way.

But it would be hypocritical of me not to have a special place in my heart for wedding cakes. Whether that's two tiers or 7 tiers, and whether it's white or blue or yellow, I remember every cake I've delivered and the couple it was for.

Wedding cakes are an indelible piece of your wedding, when you choose to have one. And here are 3 reasons you should have cake as part of your wedding:

The pictures

The cake cutting moment is your first act as a married couple. Whether it's right at the end of your day, or as part of cocktail hour, it's a moment to gather all your friends, your wedding party, and your family, for that iconic cake cutting moment.

Your photographer will have lots of tips on this, and we all love a candid photo. Maybe you're only doing couple's portraits. Maybe you're doing no portraits at all. Maybe your wedding is too bold and fun and yours to want to worry about herding everyone into one space for photos.

However, there's incredible nostalgia in looking back and seeing just how much love was in one room. Not just yours, but that of all the people who celebrated with you.

Remember, cake is a prop as much as a delicious dessert, and you may as well use that prop to its full potential.

The joy

The biggest objection I hear to having a wedding cake, is that nobody will eat it.

Now, not only do I have a bunch of tips on how to maximise your cake consumption, but I also would like to offer a suggestion: have a dummy cake.

Yes, really.

If you're worried about cake going to waste, have a fake cake. It's what we did! I had an intimate wedding, but wanted a big cake. So I added 2 polystyrene tiers to my design, so I could get that "wow" moment for my photos.

Again, it's your wedding, your way, and you should have the things that bring you joy. And if that is 20 guests, and a 6 tier cake, you absolutely can have both.

You want joy on your wedding day. In every aspect of it. You want to look back and think "yes, that was everything I wanted". And I know it's stressful, and busy, and can be chaotic, but a good wedding supplier will help bring your vision to life. We are all very invested in making sure you have the best day. Ever.

On the day, there will be so many emotions, and so many core memories will be made. But it will also fly by. And the wedding blues are real.

So live in the moment, capture diem and all that, but do future-you a favour and fill it with as many joyful things as you can.

And capture the moment so you can relive that joy over and over.

The memories

Wasn't that a good segue?

I've been married 5 years now. It's been an intense few years, as far as the world generally is concerned, but even just this past weekend I was talking about my wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I refer to it often (and affectionately) as a Series of Unfortunate Events, but I don't think I would change it for the world. Someday I'll write a post about it. But everything went wrong, from the rain, to my pianist calling in sick, to my mother misplacing the wedding bands (yeah, I know). The church never received our paperwork. It was a circus.

Affectionately, of course.

And you know why I think of it so fondly? I mean, part of it is definitely that I married my best friend. But part of it is that we had planned the wedding that we wanted. Our wedding favours were symbolic, my flowers were too, I know we spent way too long looking for the correct shade of apricot for my husband's bowtie.

And those are all memories I get to keep. Not just of the day itself, but of all the moments during the planning process that it felt ours.

Of course, you get a consultation with your cake, and you get to try some delicious samples. But it's not just that. It's thinking about how you can incorporate your dress design, or suit pattern, into your cake. It's finding the perfect cake stand, or menu stand, or cake topper to complement your big day. It's matching your invitation's monogram to your cake, and then again to a hundred macaron favours.

It's treating every little moment of your big day like it's precious. It is.

So then, 5 years later, when you're on a riverboat for your friend's birthday, she can laugh with you about the fact that your ceremony went on for almost 2 hours, and you can get that feeling in your chest that tells you "yes, and it was perfect".

I wouldn't change my wedding day for the world. Not the fact that we had our first dance in the rain, or the fact that so many bobby pins came out of my hair it was basically loose by the end of our meal. I wouldn't change the cost of the additional dress alterations I had to have done because I found the perfect pair of shoes after I had the hem taken up.

All I'll say is, I'm glad we had cake. Not only because we had leftovers in the freezer for weeks, but because it really was an incredible moment to close our big day with.

And so I hope that, cake or no cake, you have that perfect day too.

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